I was recently watching an episode of “Just Shoot Me” and the main characters kept throwing around a quote. “Sometimes on the way to your dreams, you get lost and find a better one.” I thought it was uniquely powerful for people in our position, transitioning from one paradigm to a radically different one. This particular shift is moving from a “sticks and bricks” home to a nomadic lifestyle, leaving a successful 9-5 job to do gig work and work camp. The same lessons apply to other changes. How many times in our lives have we felt defeated by changes, whether they were unexpected, or even planned? We build our identities on who we want to be and who we think we are. But when that changes, who are we?
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Keeping an even headspace
I’m a big fan of Stephen Covey’s book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, especially the chapter on managing one’s circle of influence versus their circle of concern.
In a nutshell, think of all the things you worry about, be it the political climate, the weather, next week’s earnings, or that piece of expensive fruit that you need to use before it turns to the dark side. Of all those concerns, which ones do you have influence over, and which can you affect a change in?
The rest you have no control over, and it’s important to know that. Sorting those out can be very VERY empowering. The scariest thing about change is the feeling of no control. By analyzing and sorting your circle of influence from your circle of concern you give yourself back control. To look at something you have no influence over, and acknowledge it, removes that something from your emotional load. If it’s something that you feel you need to have control over it, you are now in a frame of mind to map out how to get it into your circle of influence.
How do we use this?
Back to the original quote. When you sort your influences from your concerns it can shed light on what you are really into and where you really want to invest your energy.
Do you really want to spend half or more of your day dedicated to working outside of the home, or would you rather spend that time at home, with your family?
What is important to you? What do you need to do to survive, and what tools are at your disposal?
Asking these questions, and starting to build the answers is the most empowering thing one can do when staring change in the face. Managing change is managing fear, managing fear is sorting your influences from your concerns, and in that sorting, you just may find that you really did find a better dream.